EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize