Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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