At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
