If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
