This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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