just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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