Acid is not a monday night drug
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
