Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
