Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
