So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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