I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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