I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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