Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize