just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
