I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
