I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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