why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
