Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
