yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
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