remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
