What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
