Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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