What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
