we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
