You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hippo gnu deer
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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