Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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