How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
