Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize