Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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