im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
