i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
