I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize