Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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