"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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