If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
