Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
