I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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