I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize