Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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