I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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