I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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