Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
