You really coming over, don't trick.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
