I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
