I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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