That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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