i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
