i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
