you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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