dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
