Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
