Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
