We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize