Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
