I've blown a few things in my day
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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