I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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