I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
