That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
