Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize