Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
