Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
