This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
