You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Church boner. Awkwardddd
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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