what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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