we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize