I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
